Every day, the Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman offers straight-talking advice on issues from bedroom confessions to self-confidence and drug use. Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Trading Places: Ex-Boyfriend Leaves for Another Woman
A reader writes: 'My ex-boyfriend went out to buy a vape and never came back. Now friends tell me he's living a couple of streets away with another woman. He's telling anyone who'll listen that she's hot and horny and he's having the best sex of his life. I'm furious. Should I go round there and front him up? I know I'm not perfect, but who treats their partner like this? Loads of his stuff – records, clothes and trainers – are still here too.'
Jane says: 'It's deeply upsetting that your ex chose to leave in this cowardly way, but he's gone and you need to move on. Think back; if mistakes were made then vow to learn from them.' She advises sending word to his pals that if his stuff is not picked up by a certain date, the whole lot goes to the recycling centre or nearest charity shop – and wipe the slate clean.
Jammy Mummy: Mother's Sex Life Causes Friction
Another reader is furious that her mother is having better sex than her. 'I haven't said a civil word to her in weeks. She divorced her wealthy husband in February. Not only is she now cash rich, but she's looking great after extensive cosmetic surgery – new boobs, nose and fillers. She is raring to go. At least four fit guys are vying for her attention. All four are good looking and loaded, plus there are two others (more rough-and-ready types) she uses purely for sex. How dare she? I'm in my sexual prime (30) and I can't get arrested. I'm being forced to live back at home with my annoying mother because my last landlord sold my flat from under me. But the atmosphere here is toxic. The other night I came home early from my friend's house to find my mum rolling around the front room floor with a stranger. They were half-naked and highly aroused. It was disgusting. I called her all the names under the sun, but the more I ranted, the more she laughed in my face. She simply doesn't take me seriously and that stings. I understand that she is feeling attractive and free for the first time in ages. Her last husband was vile, and their break-up was deeply unpleasant. So, of course this is her time now, but her new situation is doing nothing for MY confidence. I don't want to sound pathetic, but this is my home too and I feel I'm being edged out. My job is boring, my friends are hopeless and I couldn't get a boyfriend if I handed out fifty-pound notes. Where do I go from here?'
Jane says: 'Not talking to your mother properly is childish. How are you and she ever going to sort anything out while you indulge in a monumental sulk? Get down off that high horse and discuss some mutually agreeable house rules. Tell her how you feel. Of course, you're delighted that she's finally got her mojo back, but you live in this house too – and you hate feeling uncomfortable.' She advises thrashing out options with give and take on both sides. Jane suggests getting the mother to give tips on getting life back on track, exercising, eating healthily, prioritizing mental health, and checking out new interests or hobbies. Jane also warns the mother to practice safe sex with condoms and be cautious about letting strangers into the home due to gold diggers and unscrupulous characters. 'Safety must be a priority. Work together and start living in the moment. There is no need for friction. You're not enemies.'
