A woman has confessed to a dangerous affair with her partner's best mate, admitting she is a 'cheat and a liar' but saying the relationship is 'sooo good'. The affair has been going on for over a year, with the pair using an empty flat for their trysts several times a week.
The Affair Begins
The woman explained that her lover first offered her lifts to work when she landed a new job, saying he drove past her office. She agreed to contribute to petrol costs, and he began picking her up and dropping her home. She realised she fancied him when her partner got injured at football and his mate drove her home from the hospital. They chatted and flirted so easily that time flew by, and that night he sent her a saucy text that 'set her heart on fire'.
Now they are sleeping together several times a week, using an empty flat whenever they feel 'horny'. From snatched lunch times to quickies after work, they can't get their clothes off fast enough. She says they are so hot for each other that an hour is never enough, and she loves wearing black, frilly undies and high heels for him.
Home Life Suffers
The woman says her precious moments with her lover are very different from what she has at home. Her partner is so wrapped up in his business and hobbies that he barely notices her. Her lover's wife is only interested in how much money he earns. She hates lying to her partner, who thinks she has late night meetings, but says she wouldn't be able to cope with her highly stressful job without her lover. He is the only one keeping her sane.
Jane's Advice
Agony aunt Jane O'Gorman warns: 'You do know you're going to get caught, don't you? You do know that this sordid house of cards is going to come crashing down some time very soon?' She says the pair are playing a very silly game and being unfair on those left at home.
Jane urges the woman to stop and take stock, end the affair, and start being honest with her partner about her life and stresses. She questions if the new job is right for her and good for her mental health, and whether she and her partner have a future together. She also tells the lover to stop acting like a fool, as his wife deserves more, and questions if he might have targeted and orchestrated the whole thing with the initial offers of lifts.
Second Problem: Family Fury
Another reader says her family are furious that she has found love. Her parents accuse her of being ridiculous, and her 18-year-old daughter has branded her selfish. They think she is 'past it' and only want her time, energy, and money. Her daughter says she will never speak to her again if she marries her man.
Jane advises: 'Your family have been used to having you all to themselves and distrust change. But you're entitled to your own life too. Clearly, you've made sacrifices. Be strong and tell everyone to show some respect. You've supported them in the past, now the least they can do is be happy for you. I fear that unless you make a stand then they'll continue to walk all over you.'
