A mother is upset that her own mum refuses to call her one-year-old daughter by her chosen name, Ember, and instead insists on calling her Emmy.
The woman, who wrote to Coleen for advice, explained that when she and her husband told their families about the name, her mum was unkind, saying it was weird and that she would feel weird saying it. The mum has never once used the full name and tells her friends the baby is called Emmy.
Family friction over name choice
The reader says she has corrected her mother on occasion, saying, “Her name’s Ember, Mum”, but is tired of having to do that. She adds that no one else has a problem with calling the child Ember, and she would like her mother to accept their choice and do them the courtesy of using their daughter’s proper name.
She also acknowledges that when her daughter goes to school, friends will probably shorten the name to Em, as kids do, but she would still like her mother to use the full name.
Coleen’s advice: don’t make it a big thing
Coleen says it is annoying but not worth having a massive fall out over. She says the name is lovely, but admits she has not liked all the baby names her friends and family have chosen over the years, though she would not comment on them.
Coleen adds that naming a child is a personal thing and shouldn’t be up for debate. She says children grow into their names, and as long as the parents think it is a great name, it doesn’t matter what others think. She notes that if the grandmother were calling the child a completely new name like Laura, that would be different.
Coleen also points out that when the daughter gets older, she might ask her gran to call her Ember, or she might like having a special name for her. She mentions that people love to have an opinion on names, and that Ember will probably get her name shortened her whole life to Em or Emmy, which are nice as well.
While the grandmother may be out of line, insensitive and stubborn, Coleen asks whether it is a hill worth dying on, and stresses that the most important thing is that she loves her daughter and is a wonderful grandmother to her.
