Anya Abbott, 26, had just begun to re-enter the dating scene after a five-year relationship ended six months prior. She met Nathan, a confident older man, at a work event in Soho, and after some light-hearted banter, he asked for her number. Despite her initial reluctance to date, she agreed, and Nathan planned an evening of drinks followed by stand-up comedy.
The date takes a shocking turn
During the interval at the comedy show, Nathan asked about Anya's favourite holiday. She mentioned Fiji, and he responded that his was Mauritius. Anya joked, 'Was that your honeymoon?' Nathan's sheepish nod led her to ask if he was divorced. He slowly shook his head, and the penny dropped: he was married.
'You're married?!' I shouted. Nathan looked spooked and tried to shush me. He finally admitted he had a wife and kids at home. When I asked if his wife knew he was on a date, he awkwardly gestured no.
Storming out and deleting his number
Anya grabbed her coat and announced she was leaving. Nathan tried to downplay the situation, saying, 'It's not a big deal, Anya.' She asked if they had an arrangement, and he said no. 'Well, then…it is a big deal!' she replied, aghast. She stomped out before the second half of the show and deleted his number on the walk home, feeling a mix of rage and shock.
According to Anya, 'I had been fooled; Nathan had really pulled the wool over my eyes. I hadn't noticed any red flags, I didn't have time to get to know him well enough for that. His revelation had come completely out of the blue.'
Aftermath and lasting impact
Anya quickly saw the funny side and told her friends, who couldn't believe her first date in six years was with a married family man. She also felt bad for his wife, who was presumably unaware. A month later, at an industry Christmas party, she saw Nathan across the crowd. They locked eyes, but he quickly averted his gaze and blanked her. 'I thought it was cowardly – he wasn't acting his age,' she said.
The experience knocked Anya's confidence, and she avoided dates for several months. When she eventually started dating again the following spring, she made a point of asking if the guy was hiding a wife and kids.
