A Stockport woman has spoken out after her former partner was sentenced in court for a campaign of controlling behaviour. Shannon met Declan Walsh when she was 17, and described the relationship as 'nice at first but very full-on'. Now 21, she moved into his family home and spent all her time with him.
The relationship turned sinister when Walsh began controlling every aspect of her life. He controlled what she ate, what she wore and who she saw. He put a tracker on her phone and stopped her from seeing her family and friends.
'He was controlling my whole life'
Shannon, who describes herself as a 'bubbly, kind, caring and funny person who loves making people laugh', said she 'completely lost herself' during the relationship. She has spoken out to help others recognise the signs of coercive control and to show that life can get better.
She said: "Before meeting my ex, I was confident and loved spending time with my family and friends. But over the course of the relationship, that person disappeared.
"I completely lost myself. It was the lowest I had ever felt, to the point that I didn’t want to be alive anymore. Even now, I struggle to trust people and sometimes choose not to go places because it feels safer to stay away."
Shannon said she didn't realise the controlling behaviour wasn't normal as the relationship was her first. She recalled: "Looking back, I became isolated from the people closest to me very quickly.
"I remember my little nephew’s birthday. I had bought him a present and wanted to see him open it, but he said I could just have it delivered. I wanted to go, but I knew the argument afterwards wouldn’t be worth it.
"Little things built up until he was controlling my whole life. I stopped seeing my mum and dad.
"He had a tracker on my phone, so he would have known if I had gone to see them, which is so sad because my mum is my best friend. He controlled what I wore, what I ate and who I spoke to. I ended up deleting everyone from social media."
Shannon 'unable to speak freely' to police
Shannon escaped the relationship when she turned the tracker off on her phone one night while Walsh allowed her to visit her brother. She instead went to her parents' house, where she told them what had been happening.
Together, they made a plan to get her out of the relationship and Shannon returned to Walsh's home to collect her belongings. Her mum waited outside and, when Shannon didn't come back out, called the police. Officers arrived and realised she was unable to speak freely. They separated her from Walsh and his family so she could tell them she wanted to leave.
Shannon said: "Before that night, I didn’t even know what coercive control was. When the officers explained it to me, it was the first time I realised that what I had been experiencing wasn’t normal.
"They listened to me, believed me and helped me when I couldn’t see a way out. DC Andrews then supported me throughout the investigation and helped me understand that I deserved a healthy relationship."
Shannon said she has since struggled with PTSD and anxiety as well as having nightmares. She said she had to 'change parts of her life just to feel safe again'. But she said she has now 'got her spark back' and wants to help other people.
"Counselling and the Freedom Programme at Stockport Women’s Centre have helped me understand my own worth and what a healthy relationship should look like," Shannon said.
"I can’t thank the police enough. They listened to me, believed me and supported me through it all. He might not have gone to prison, but it was important to me that he was convicted and held accountable.
"I hope that conviction helps future partners make informed decisions about their own safety. I hope that by doing that, and by speaking out, I might have helped someone else.
"I want people to know that a relationship like this isn’t right. Nobody should control you, isolate you or make you feel worthless. If something doesn’t feel right, please speak to someone and report it. The police helped me when I couldn’t see a way out, and now I finally feel like I’ve got my spark back."
'Speaking openly took tremendous courage'
On July 8 this year, Walsh, 23, of Stockport, was sentenced to eight months in prison suspended for 12 months for controlling and coercive behaviour. He was also made the subject of a restraining order and will have to carry out unpaid work and rehabilitation activity requirements.
Following the sentencing, DC Elizabeth Andrews from Stockport CID said: "For years, Shannon’s independence was stripped away from her.
"No one should have to live in fear or believe they have lost control of their own future. While the sentence was suspended, the outcome sends a clear message that coercive and controlling behaviour is a serious offence and will not be tolerated in Greater Manchester.
"Walsh now has a criminal conviction, is subject to strict court-imposed conditions and faces further consequences should he breach the terms of his sentence or restraining order.
"I would also like to praise Shannon for her immense bravery throughout this investigation. Speaking openly about what she had endured took tremendous courage."
