A mother is upset because her own mum refuses to call her one-year-old daughter by her chosen name, Ember. The grandmother calls the child Emmy instead, despite being told the full name many times.
Unusual name sparked family criticism
The couple chose the name Ember for their daughter a year ago. When they told their families, the mother's mum was unkind, calling the name weird and saying she would feel weird saying it. The couple felt they had burdened their daughter with an awful name.
The grandmother has not got over it. She tells all her friends the child is called Emmy and never once uses the full name. The mother has corrected her, saying, “Her name’s Ember, Mum”, but is sick of doing so.
No one else has a problem with the name
No one else has an issue with calling the child Ember. The mother finds her mum's attitude hurtful and wonders if it is worth making a thing of it. She realises that at school friends may shorten the name to Em, but she wants her mother to accept the choice and use the proper name.
Coleen's advice: don't have a massive fallout
Coleen says it is annoying but not worth a massive fallout. She thinks the name Ember is lovely, though she has not liked all baby names chosen by friends and family over the years. She would not comment on them.
Naming a child is personal and should not be up for debate. Kids grow into their names, and you cannot imagine them being called anything else. If the mother thinks it is a great name, that is what matters. The grandmother calling the child a completely new name like Laura would be different.
When the daughter gets older, she might ask her gran to call her Ember or might like having a special name. People love to have opinions on names – one of Coleen's sisters hates that her niece Erin's name is shortened to Ez and her daughter Ciara's to Ciz. Ember will probably get shortened to Em or Emmy her whole life, but those are nice too.
Is the mum being out of line, insensitive and stubborn? Yes, but is it a hill to die on? The most important thing is that she loves her daughter and is a wonderful grandmother to her.
