A pregnant mum has said she cannot bond with her unborn third son because the name her husband insists on using makes her feel "unsettled." She wrote online that the name is interfering with her ability to feel excited about the baby.
Choosing a name that feels right
The mum explained that with her first two children, she instinctively knew what they should be called. "They flowed. Perfect. Everyone loved them. Unique but familiar," she wrote.
But for baby number three, she said she does not "know what to do" because she has "proposed nearly 100" names and her husband is "refusing" to move away from a couple he likes.
'It's fine. Bland.'
The mum wrote: "Best we can come up with is Michael. It’s fine. Bland. That’s everyone’s vibe about the name when I say it. I don’t love it. I feel it’s interfering with my ability to bond with this baby and be excited."
She added that they had one other name, but it does not go well with their intended middle name, which is a family name. She asked whether anyone else had been in this situation and "learned to love it," saying she has been "trying to embrace it," but it just "doesn't feel right."
Readers respond
She ended her post by sharing: "My husband is over this conversation and refusing to discuss it further. But I just feel so intuitively this isn’t my child’s name."
In the comments, one person wrote: "Your husband is not being fair. He doesn't get to decide the conversation is over. You're the one growing this baby in your body!" Another said: "That’s not on. He can’t refuse to discuss this anymore and leave you hanging. Has he suggested any names? If you give us a few names you like, and a few he likes, maybe we can find a middle road."
A third commenter wrote: "Your husband is being an a**. His father gets to be the namesake on two of your kids?? That’s ridiculous. Do you have anyone you want to honour? Don’t back down just because he’s being a bully. The conversation isn’t over until you’re both happy."
A fourth wrote: "Honestly, if you both don’t love the name, then the conversation is not over. My husband and I have vastly different tastes in names, and we have successfully come up with names we both love for all of our kids… with our third, it took almost up to the end of the pregnancy to find the name. Neither of you should have to settle for a name you don’t love. There are tons of names out there."
