A new book examining historical and modern custody battles reveals how mothers are frequently vilified in UK family courts. The author, drawing on her own experience, describes being cross-examined with questions like 'You act unilaterally, don’t you?' and 'You don’t put your children first, do you?'—accusations she felt judged her not just as a mother but as a woman.
The book traces the theme back to 19th-century figures such as French writer George Sand, who fought for her children against a punitive husband, and British socialite Caroline Norton, whose husband accused her of adultery and asserted his right to their children. The author notes that while legal settings have changed, the vilification of mothers persists.
In her own case, the author lost custody of her son, who was ordered to live mainly with his father, while her daughter stayed mainly with her. She was shocked that the court separated the siblings, despite having moved to the countryside with both children during the pandemic with her ex-husband's permission for the daughter but not the son.
The author reflects on the emotional toll, saying the experience of being cross-questioned in the witness box remains one of the most difficult of her life. She argues that maternal care is often subjected to a legal test that leaves one parent empowered and the other traumatised.
