Dating apps have long been a minefield of misleading photos and borrowed chat-up lines, but now a new threat has emerged: 'Chatfishing', where users deploy AI-generated charm to lure matches. Rachel, a 36-year-old business owner, experienced this first-hand after matching with a man on Hinge who seemed refreshingly thoughtful. His early messages, such as asking about attachment styles, felt genuinely deep, and their conversations soon spanned everything from favourite memes to childhood traumas.
Over three weeks, the rapport grew into what Rachel believed was a meaningful connection. Late-night exchanges left her staring at her phone, captivated by what felt like self-help book-level insights. But when they finally met at a pub, the man before her was a stranger. He was polite but flat, stumbled through small talk, checked his phone too often, and seemed to know nothing about her. 'I felt like I was sitting opposite someone I'd never even spoken to,' she recalls, suspecting he had been using AI.
Rachel gave him the benefit of the doubt, but after a second date that failed to bridge the gap, she ended things. She had been 'ChatGPT-ed into bed' at least once before and did not want it to happen again. Her story reflects a growing trend where the convenience of AI adds another layer of digital artifice to the already gamified world of online dating.
While some Chatfishers outsource entire conversations to ChatGPT, leaving matches to unknowingly bond with an algorithm, many use it as a tool. Nick, a 38-year-old Londoner in an open relationship, employs ChatGPT on apps like Feeld and Bumble to craft meaningful opening lines without investing too much time. 'I want to start a conversation that feels meaningful from the beginning, but I don't want to spend too much time on it,' he says, highlighting the balancing act that drives some to embrace AI assistance.
As AI becomes embedded in daily life, dating apps are yet another arena where authenticity is under threat. For those seeking love, the challenge is no longer just spotting a filtered photo, but discerning whether the person on the other end of the screen is truly human.
