Fencing star Oliver Lam-Watson has opened up about a “really dark few years” battling personal grief, and has made it his mission to use his platform to help other men struggling with their mental health.
The four-time Paralympic medallist lost his mother in the run-up to the Paris Paralympics, and has since become passionate about speaking out on the issue, particularly as suicide remains the biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK.
A difficult choice before Paris
In 2022, Lam-Watson was faced with the cruel decision of staying with his mum on her deathbed or competing in a World Cup event to secure pivotal Paralympic qualification events. He opted for the latter, and she died just after he returned to the UK.
Speaking in July 2024, he said: "Mum loved what I did and it was her dream to be with me in Paris for the 2024 Games. But I had to leave her on her deathbed to go to the first qualification event in Hungary.... I had to recalibrate and ask myself ‘what am I able to sacrifice? How much is too much?’ But then, when people tell me that I am giving above and beyond, I reply ‘How much do you want it?’ So it’s been a really hard cycle. She almost passed away on the first on the day of the first competition for qualifications."
He added: "It’s been one of the most difficult times of my life. She was so excited to hopefully be in Paris with me, because she couldn’t be there in Tokyo [in 2020]. And she said, I want to be in Paris, I want to watch you fence... I sacrificed the last moments I had with my mother to qualify for this. So for me, this means everything."
Processing loss after the Games
Lam-Watson repeated his achievements from Japan in France, again scooping a pair of team foil silvers and bronzes in the team épée events. Now 33, he has also lost his grandfather earlier this year, and is training in Hong Kong after visiting his grandmother following a competition in Thailand.
Ahead of next month’s European Championships in Cardiff, he admits he has been struggling on a personal level. "Recently, I haven't felt on top of my game," he said.
"I suffered a lot with the loss of my mother in the run-up to Paris. I don't really think I processed it very well until after Games, so the last two years have been very difficult for me. And then with the loss of my grandfather, and an uncle of mine, it's been a really dark few years."
Breaking the taboo around men's mental health
Lam-Watson is determined to use his experience to make a major difference to others. "The biggest killer of men under 50 is suicide. How crazy is that? The biggest killer of men under 50 is themselves," he said.
"There is still this macho culture around it where you don’t speak about it. I think it's something we should talk about more and something that I've been trying to speak about and deal with, especially over the last two years. I think it's really hard to understand until you go through it. There’s a bit of a taboo and a bit of a preconception and a stereotype when it comes to the word depression."
He added: "If you can help just one person and stop them doing something awful and save one life, would I give away all my medals for that? Of course. The death of my mother really put into perspective. If anything, the fencing is very much a tool that I use to speak to people, to help people, to show people what is possible."
Looking ahead to Cardiff
Next month’s event will take place at the Sport Wales National Centre and marks the first time the European Championships have been held in Cardiff. Lam-Watson claimed double European glory in Warsaw four years ago, combining with Piers Gilliver, Dimitri Coutya and Joshua Waddell to triumph in the team épée and foil events.
Lam-Watson now arrives in Wales hoping to banish recent demons and add more silverware to his collection. He added: "I'd like to have a good time - I'd like to smile and enjoy the process again. The last two years have been a case of 'is my worst better than their best?' Because I feel like I've really not been dealing with it very well. I’ve not been super resilient. I've been struggling a lot, and I look forward to, hopefully, at some point, feeling like I’m on the road to feeling better.
"I would really like to feel like myself on the piste again - it's been so long since I've been able to really enjoy it, be in the moment and feel like myself when I'm when I'm competing. I’d like to make my family proud and I'd like to make the team proud. I'd like to go out there and do some good fencing, play the game and enjoy it."
The Para Fencing European Championships, supported by funding from UK Sport through The National Lottery, and Welsh Government, will be held in Cardiff from 6th-11th October 2026, and will see athletes from across Europe compete in the first qualification event for the Los Angeles 2028 Paralympic Games.
