Felicity Kendal has opened up about the 'all consuming' grief she has experienced following the death of her long-term partner, Michael Rudman, just over three years ago. The actress, best known for her role as Barbara Good in the classic sitcom The Good Life, spoke candidly about how the loss has reshaped her everyday life.
Reflections on Grief and Support
In a recent interview, Kendal explained the profound impact of losing Rudman, a theatre director whom she married and later divorced before they rekindled their relationship. 'I think it is very, very important to have a support network. It has been three years now, so it has moved from being really all-consuming. Even though you try not to show it, it takes over every aspect of your life, missing that person that was part of your every day. So the everyday changes,' she said.
She added that the love others had for Rudman helped the family cope: 'He was so loved by everybody and the kids and everything, so that has got us all through… the first year probably is ‘What do I put in place because I’m not the same person any more?’ You think, ‘I’m of less value because I’ve only got half of me’ and then you realise you have a chance now at another life and you have to have a different routine.'
Career Highlights and The Good Life Legacy
Kendal's career spans seven decades, beginning with a role in Love Story in the 1960s before she was cast in The Good Life, a role that ran for four series. Reflecting on the show's enduring popularity, she described it as a 'blessing' despite going through a divorce at the time. 'On the other hand there was this incredible group of people who were writing and directing and acting in The Good Life,' she said. 'It used to be [people saying to me] ‘I was in love with you’ and now it’s ‘My grandfather was in love with you’! I think [The Good Life] just made people smile.'
Kendal shares a son with each of her former husbands: Charley from her first marriage to actor Drewe Henley, and Jacob from her marriage to Rudman. Despite the tragedies she has faced, she remains determined to enjoy life.
Life Lessons and Embracing Change
Kendal spoke about the preciousness of life, recalling the death of her sister: 'I remember when my sister died years ago, one of the things that helped me was, ‘She’s not here, so I better not waste this.’ So I think that’s what I’m now feeling. And it’s just about remembering the wonderful times rather than the sad times and that does happen, it’s a three-year journey.'
Growing up in Solihull, Warwickshire, as the daughter of actor Geoffrey Kendal, she spent her early years in India where her father led a theatre company. Her first role was Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream at just nine months old, and she later performed the same part at age 12.
After The Good Life, Kendal starred in Rosemary & Thyme alongside Pam Ferris, appeared on Strictly Come Dancing in 2010, and had guest roles in Ludwig and Rivals. She holds a CBE for services to drama.
Ageing and Tattoos
When asked about the pressure to look a certain way in the entertainment industry, Kendal said it no longer bothers her. 'I really don’t think the pressure to look a certain way bothers me. I think I’m so old now, it’s okay. When I was much younger, I was very conscious of not being gorgeous… I felt that I should have been taller, I should have been more tanned, but this was when I was much younger. The thing is I don’t think I’m known for what I look like… I’ve never had that pressure in a sense… in theatre, it really doesn’t matter much.'
One surprising decision she made was to get a tattoo at age 63—a small star on her left foot—followed by a feather above her ankle. She joked about getting more: 'I really wasn’t drawn to tattoos and then I thought, I better try this before it’s too late… I was thinking about getting more the other day. I thought maybe now is the time to almost cover myself in tattoos because it doesn’t matter does it? So I have a feeling there’s one more in me. It would give me a private thrill, no one else would give a monkey’s! Michael didn’t know they were real because he didn’t like tattoos and he said, ‘They’re not real are they?’ and I said, ‘No, darling, I paint them on every morning.’ He wanted me to know he didn’t approve!'
Looking Forward
Kendal's mantra is about giving 'control' back to the world. 'I’m in that kind of mindset really that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Things like the sadness of divorce, it leads you then to the next stage and you can’t say ‘I wish I hadn’t done that’ because then none of the good stuff would have happened, either. If there’s anything I’m trying to learn before it’s too late it’s that you are not in control, don’t cling on to this fantasy that we all have that we can control life and death and our lives, we can’t. There’s something else that always comes in when you think you’ve nailed it – then you get the tax bill!'
Currently, Kendal is returning to the stage in High Society, a musical starring Helen George from Call the Midwife. Of working with George, she said: 'Helen George is absolutely adorable. She’s famously loved within our business and I’m loving working with her. She’s a glorious creation and it’s beautiful to watch her dancing and singing, so it is just great.'
