Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand every day to tackle readers' issues with straight-talking, sound advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence problems and drug use, she has helped thousands of readers over the years.
Readers seeking help can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP, or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters, and not all problems will be published.
One and Done
A reader cannot get over a woman he spent a crazy weekend with in May. They met in a county hotel—she was recovering from a breakup, and he was on a solo motorbike tour. They hit it off in the hot tub, went to her room, and he didn't leave for 48 hours. He loved using her sex toys and that she allowed him to blindfold her.
He has tracked her down on social media and keeps asking to meet again, but she won't commit. Jane says he must accept she isn't interested. If they were meant to be together, it would have happened. She knows how to contact him but is choosing to stay away. She could be in a new relationship, have children, or feel guilty. Jane doubts she gave her full story. Don't become a nuisance.
Pushing the Envelope
Another reader has told his mistress a thousand times to keep their affair secret, but she keeps giving it away. They work together, and virtually everyone in the office knows. She kisses him in front of the boss and leaves items like spare knickers in his car. She has also 'accidentally' rung his home line. He is a nervous wreck and won't leave home until his daughter marries in 2028.
Jane suspects the mistress feels frustrated, angry, and used. She can see where the mistress is coming from, though she doesn't condone the affair. The reader can't carry on like this for two years. He must decide: tell his wife the truth to save the marriage, or leave home now and start a new life with his lover.
Off Piste
A third reader's boyfriend pretends they are flush. He added their names to a couples' skiing trip in the New Year. When she points out they're broke, he snaps, "I'll apply for another credit card." Jane says he's desperate to keep up with friends, but more debt is no joke. Tell him today the trip is a non-starter. Insist on discussing existing money worries and dealing with them as responsible adults. Check stepchange.org for help. Is he good for her long term, or will he always drag her down?
